Okay, folks, did you watch the Vice Presidential debate? I did. I am a tad more prepared to make an informed decision. What are your thoughts about the debate? Who won? Who lied? I want all your dirty thoughts…as long as they pertain to the matter at hand. No, not the matter IN your hand. Anyway, don’t mask your feelings. Don’t hate me because I am beautiful.

Apparently, this lady has no idea what America is about, e.g. freedom, cold beers, freedom of speech (which means we can speak like a redneck anytime we feel like it), football, freedom of press (which means we can write about the Canadian dumbasses all we want), and hunting (don’t forget the camo). Possibly she thinks she is not white trash because she wears pearls. PFFFTTTT! Get with the program, pearls are so out of style.

http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/09/18/columnists-labeling-palin-backers-white-trash-spurs-review-at-canadian-tv//

Exhibit A:
“On the same day, Britain’s Guardian newspaper published another column by Mallick in which she trashed Palin’s home state of Alaska as a ‘frontier state full of drunks and crazy people.’ ”

I can not blame them. They are stuck all the way up there, surrounded by Canadians. I would be drunk all the time, too if had to listen to someone say, “ay” after every freakin’ thing they say! Maybe that was rude. Excuse the redneck coming out of me. :)

Exhibit B:
“ ‘What normal father would want Levi ‘I’m a f—-n’ redneck’ Johnson prodding his daughter?’ Mallick asked.”

Because some of us think tractors and rednecks are sexy.

Exhibit C:
“Mallick also wrote on the CBC Web site that Republican men, whom she called ’sexual inadequates,’ must think that women would vote for Palin just because she’s a woman.”

She would know what it felt to get laid if a redneck got a hold of her.

Exhibit D:
“Mallick also blasted Alaska as Canada’s ugly stepchild.”

She obviously also needs a history lesson…Alaska is America’s step-child, you stupid heifer.

Signed, Sincerely,
PROUD REDNECK

P.S. We will Git R Done cause we ain’t skeered!

Since Michael Moore had his chance at a chat with the Almighty, I think in all fairness I should have a chance, too.

Dear God,
Thank you again and again, for bestowing upon me the the use of YouTube. It never needs lubricating, requires no batteries, and talks back only when I wish it to.
It’s been some time since I experienced multiple orgasms, so please could I have more of this?
If you do this one favor for me, I promise not to ever again snap my fingers while pretending to fart in a paper bag.

Your faithful servant and partner in crime,

Orfinanny

Dear God,

The other night, James Dobson’s organization asked all believers to pray for a storm on Thursday night so that the Obama acceptance speech outdoors in Denver would have to be canceled.

I see that You have answered Dr. Dobson’s prayers — except the storm You have sent to earth is not over Denver, but on its way to New Orleans! In fact, You have scheduled it to hit Louisiana at exactly the moment that George W. Bush is to deliver his speech at the Republican National Convention.

Now, heavenly Father, we all know You have a great sense of humor and impeccable timing. To send a hurricane on the third anniversary of the Katrina disaster AND right at the beginning of the Republican Convention was, at first blush, a stroke of divine irony. I don’t blame You, I know You’re angry that the Republicans tried to blame YOU for Katrina by calling it an “Act of God” — when the truth was that the hurricane itself caused few casualties in New Orleans. Over a thousand people died because of the mistakes and neglect caused by humans, not You.

Some of us tried to help after Katrina hit, while Bush ate cake with McCain and twiddled his thumbs. I closed my office in New York and sent my entire staff down to New Orleans to help. I asked people on my website to contribute to the relief effort I organized — and I ended up sending over two million dollars in donations, food, water, and supplies (collected from thousands of fans) to New Orleans while Bush’s FEMA ice trucks were still driving around Maine three weeks later.

But this past Thursday night, the Washington Post reported that the Republicans had begun making plans to possibly postpone the convention. The AP had reported that there were no shelters set up in New Orleans for this storm, and that the levee repairs have not been adequate. In other words, as the great Ronald Reagan would say, “There you go again!”

So the last thing John McCain and the Republicans needed was to have a split-screen on TVs across America: one side with Bush and McCain partying in St. Paul, and on the other side of the screen, live footage of their Republican administration screwing up once again while New Orleans drowns.

So, yes, You have scared the Jesus, Mary and Joseph out of them, and more than a few million of your followers tip their hats to You.

But now it appears that You haven’t been having just a little fun with Bush & Co. It appears that Hurricane Gustav is truly heading to New Orleans and the Gulf coast. We hear You, O Lord, loud and clear, just as we did when Rev. Falwell said You made 9/11 happen because of all those gays and abortions. We beseech You, O Merciful One, not to punish us again as Pat Robertson said You did by giving us Katrina because of America’s “wholesale slaughter of unborn children.” His sentiments were echoed by other Republicans in 2005.

So this is my plea to you: Don’t do this to Louisiana again. The Republicans got your message. They are scrambling and doing the best they can to get planes, trains and buses to New Orleans so that everyone can get out. They haven’t sent the entire Louisiana National Guard to Iraq this time — they are already patrolling the city streets. And, in a nod to I don’t know what, Bush’s head of FEMA has named a man to help manage the federal government’s response. His name is W. Michael Moore. I kid you not, heavenly Father. They have sent a man with both my name AND W’s to help save the Gulf Coast.

So please God, let the storm die out at sea. It’s done enough damage already. If you do this one favor for me, I promise not to invoke your name again. I’ll leave that to the followers of Dr. Dobson and to those gathering this week in St. Paul.

Your faithful servant and former seminarian,

Michael Moore

So, go eat another hot dog and stick that rubber-gloved finger up your own bum, you torpid bloated buffoon.

John McCain made the smartest move possible.

He picked Sarah Palin.
She’s the commander-in-chief of her state’s National Guard; she’s fought corruption, she isn’t afraid of anyone, and she’s a mother.
She wasn’t necessarily looking for the job….. it found her.

Hillary is the most laughable woman it’s been my displeasure to experience.
I remember the days I spent as a hairdresser to dull-witted women who’s husbands provided them with a home and none of the benefits of a life.  Imagine seeing women in their 40’s waiting to have their hair done, swapping anti-depressents; puking in my trash can. The daughters and granddaughters of these same women are who she seeks to secure the election of herself by way of Obama.

Sarah Palin is clearly qualified for the office of Vice President of The United States of America, because when push comes to shove, she can kick the dog crap out of that other woman, hands down.